Vroom Vroom Waltz

Last year when I was a freshman, I obviously didn't have my car and was forced to walk to wherever I wanted to go. This year, being a sophomore, I have my car here at school and have been forced to learn the intricate "dance" that Purdue pedestrians and drivers demonstrate every day. I like to refer to it as the Vroom Vroom Waltz, and I didn't realize just how detailed it is until this year. Just like any art form, your first year here at Purdue is all about getting to know the basics. First, you must learn that, when walking, it is absolutely imperative that you look before you cross the street. I know, sounds obvious, but when there is a biker coming from one direction and a car from the other, you have to be able to think quickly about what you will do and where you want to go. You must learn the basics to move on to a higher skill level. If you do not learn this step you run the risk of injury, even death. Not only do you have to look around you when you cross a street, but also if you decide to go off the strait walking line you are taking to class, because if not you WILL be hit by a biker. You also learn that when crossing the street you must get as close to the cars as you can (without touching them) as they pass you. This optimises the walking time and in the end will save you about 10 seconds of getting to class. It is actually a lot harder than it looks because it is almost impossible to judge where the car will go next. Will they turn? Change lanes? Speed up? Attempt to purposely run you over? In my eyes, this is a totally legitimate way of getting where you want to go without annoying the drivers at all. In fact, we LOVE it when there are so many people walking around our cars that is is literally impossible to move the car an inch without facing some sort of lawsuit! It's our favorite part of this little dance. So... let's review so far.... 1. Look before you cross the street (or for random bikers on campus). 2. Get as close to the moving cars as possible while waiting to cross the street. 3. If you are in a group of people, crowd around the car so it is impossible for it to move. All of these things so far together paint a gorgeous picture of multicolored Purdue University shirts and who-knows-what colors and types of cars. If you look at State St. on any given day, you can witness this Purdue mosaic.

So, now that I have taught you the basics, let's move on to year 2. You have your car and you are so excited! I mean, it's not that hard to drive through campus.... right? The easiest of the second year steps to learn is the stop lights. They tell you when and where you can go, when you have to wait for cars, and when you have to wait for the walkers. This is actually one of the most important parts of the dance, because without the stop lights driving would be an absolute nightmare and nearly impossible on some parts of campus! It is the stop lights that actually create the dance. First it goes, Red, Red, Red, GREEN! But wait, left hand turn. Creep, creep, ccrreeeeeeepp with your car. Let cars pass. Cars turning right, left, going strait, WRONG WAY! People pass. Slowly, slowly, ssllooooowwllyy... people pass.  Speed up quickly as to get through the light before it goes green, green, yellow, RED! Slam on your breaks as you get through the light, because there are wonderful pedestrians adding to the beauty of the dance right in front of you (and almost all over the hood of your car)!  As you proceed down the street, the weaving waltz continues.  In every gap of people walking in the street you will think it is an opportunity to speed up a little as to get to your destination faster. WRONG!  The second your foot touches that gas pedal a dancer will spin out in front of you, doing one of the most beautiful things of all... actually crawling across the street! 

Last, but far from least, there are the absolutely fantastic ONE WAY streets that Purdue is notorious for.  I must say, this is positively my favorite part of the Vroom Vroom Waltz.  Once you have gotten around the charming pedestrians, bikers, and all others on foot, you may think the best part is behind you.  Once again, you would be wrong, my friend.  The best is yet to come!  If you are a new driver to Purdue, you may think that you can get to where you want to go with the most logical routes possible.  Instead what you will find is an intricate, complicated, obviously thoroughly planned out way to get to your destination.  For example, traveling East on state street, you might think, "Hey, I need to go somewhere on Russell. Let's turn left..."  This would be impossible considering Russell is a one way street and you will end up creating a new dance all together if you try to go that way... it's called involuntary manslaughter, and that would be an entirely different blog in itself.  With the Vroom Vroom Waltz you must be very creative in finding alternative routes to get to where you need to be.  

So let's review one more time.  First year, learn how to cross the street without dying and still find a way to surround stopped cars... they love it!  Second year, learn how to waltz without bumping in to anyone, and avoid all lawsuits.  Lastly, master the one way streets as to again avoid any lawful situations.  Now that I have given you a crash course in Vroom Vroom Waltzing, let's get out there and do that dance!